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Stu

Favourite jokes and comedian

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Thought it would be an idea to have an all time favourite joke thread. I will kick things off.

What do you get if you cross Paul Daniels with a Rottweiler? It doesn't matter, just f******g do it anyway!

Jerry Sadowitz

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Anything by the late,great Bernard Manning. :lol:

 

What?  :blink:

 

Would that be the joke-stealing racist fat c**t Bernard Manning, or is there a namesake of his I haven't seen?

 

The well-known Bernard Manning who is now thankfully dead was about as funny as testicular cancer. 

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What? :blink:

Would that be the joke-stealing racist fat c**t Bernard Manning, or is there a namesake of his I haven't seen?

The well-known Bernard Manning who is now thankfully dead was about as funny as testicular cancer.

Thought he sold turkeys!!!! Boooooooootiful

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Anything by the late,great Bernard Manning. :lol:

 

Such as,.....

 

Two old maids on a beach, streaker ran past, one had a stroke, the other one couldn't reach. 

 

A Scouser went to a prostitute. She said, 'Do you want a blow job?' He said, 'Will it affect me dole money?' 

 

Theres two fellas running down the road "Help! Help! a lions escaped" A passerby said "Which way did it go?" One of the fellas says "you stupid c..t, you don't think we're feckin chasing it do ya?" 

 

 

:D

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Yep,same one @silversword.

"Thankfully dead" YOUR F******N HARSH FELLA :(

Use that phrase when referring to Hitler or Fred West!! NOT one

of Britains best known(and loved) stand ups.

 

I suspect he is "best loved" by the sort of people who enjoy Jim Davidson's "comedy". I stand by my comment, harsh or not. Just a shame that, like Cilla Black, he didn't disappear sooner. But they say only the good die young...  :lol:

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I enjoy Eddie Izzard, particularly his earlier stuff, but of course there are no jokes to quote. It always makes me smile to remember the Darth Vader in the canteen routine and the tea and cakes or death routine.

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So who's  the worst human being? Bernard Manning or Jimmy Carr?

I vote Jimmy Carr. Proper asshole.

Most the current comedians are lefties. Not one of them are funny.

I give you Russell Brand, James Carr, Sandi Toksvig. I can't think of the others'

names as they are faceless nobodies.

Edited by Cointreau

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So who's  the worst human being? Bernard Manning or Jimmy Carr?

I vote Jimmy Carr. Proper asshole.

Most the current comedians are lefties. Not one of them are funny.

I give you Russell Brand, James Carr, Sandi Toksvig. I can't think of the others'

names as they are faceless nobodies.

Couldn't agree more, Carr is just not funny. Just like the prize prats on the last leg and that Keith Lemon moron.

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So who's  the worst human being? Bernard Manning or Jimmy Carr?

I vote Jimmy Carr. Proper asshole.

Most the current comedians are lefties. Not one of them are funny.

I give you Russell Brand, James Carr, Sandi Toksvig. I can't think of the others'

names as they are faceless nobodies.

 

If those are the only 3 comedians you can think of, you need to spend less time on zerohedge and get out a bit

Edited by silversword

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If those are the only 3 comedians you can think of, you need to spend less time on zerohedge and get out a bit

 

Just to please you Bluntsword, I can think of one more. The legendary Jo Bland.

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Try Pat Condell, he'll be right up your street. I'm not sure he intends to be a comedian but you may like him anyway.

Pat Condell is almost up my street. I don't share his atheism. Who's up your street  swordy?

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