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Lending to Friends


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10 hours ago, Pete said:

As some of you asked - I am still waiting for repayment and I will be taking my so called friend to court if I don't get my money returned in the next couple of weeks.
My friend has supposedly been approved for a secured loan on property so we will see !
So much for borrowing a few grand for a fortnight as it has almost been a full year.

I hope he does the right thing and sorts things out with what he owes you @Pete but if he is going down the route of secured loan being his option to get out of his hole he is already in deep doo-doo. out of option, 's**t out of luck and jolly well f**ked'.

Consolidation loans are the work of the devil, they seem like to ultimate "quick fix", but it is the start of a nightmare, you never learn your lesson & you are so broke you have to borrow more.  At least with a defaulted personal loan or credit card and you cant pay, feck em £1 a month,'i cant pay what i aint got'

Don't pay a secured loan/mortgage bye, bye house and every penny you've paid towards it

That interest extended over such a longer period than on a normal personal loan.  Consolidation is sold as an answer to a problem, when in fact it just makes the problem worse and worse

He should look to challenge what it is he owes to who step by step, debt by debt.  with a consolidation loan you don't get to do that, don't get to see the balances go down and don't get the satisfaction of knowing you've done it by yourself. most likely he will not change his spending patterns either so chances are he'll rack up another load of debt anyway in future. Stay clear, stay well away

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11 hours ago, Pete said:

As some of you asked - I am still waiting for repayment and I will be taking my so called friend to court if I don't get my money returned in the next couple of weeks.
My friend has supposedly been approved for a secured loan on property so we will see !
So much for borrowing a few grand for a fortnight as it has almost been a full year.

Well it's small claims and you'll need some kind of evidence unless he confesses he owes you x amount in the claims court.

TBH you'll probably have to write it off and sever ties with this person, lesson learned take it on the chin and move on with your life.

How confident are you that youll be able to go through all that hassle and come out the other side a winner? if you're not sure then get some proper legal advice.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 months later...

I will never "lend" money to "friends" again. It never ends well. If they are real friends they will respect that you are a saver/investor rather than a spender, and not see you as a personal loan vehicle. That money means far more to you than it does to them, as it represents having had to live within your means and foregoing of something we could have spent it on, but chose not to. Unlike banks, we can't personally expand the money supply. Lending/borrowing non-trivial amouts from friends automatically puts a strain on the relationship, from which point it rarely grows stronger.  

Unfortunately this is a lesson which most people have to learn for themselves.

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Interesting to see this thread pop up

I recently lent money to a friend, she has been quite ill and is self-employed so has struggled to do her normal work and make ends meet 

When I say I lent the money, I honestly don't expect to get it back, I told her you can give it back to me when you can or not at all, I don't mind either way and we never have to talk about it again

I'm in a fortunate position I could help her out and I wont miss the money 

I don't think you should ever lend money to friends or family expecting it back, if you expect it back don't give it

You also should never lend money you need yourself. 

 

 

Help thread for members new to silver/gold stacking/collecting

The Money Printing Myth the Fed can't and don't money print - Deflation ahead, not inflation 

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I feel very fortunate in this respect as I have no friends and will therefore never have this dilemma. :P

“Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing.” Oscillate Wildly

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12 minutes ago, Stu said:

I feel very fortunate in this respect as I have no friends and will therefore never have this dilemma. :P

But are you one of the very lucky ones to also have no close family :P 

Help thread for members new to silver/gold stacking/collecting

The Money Printing Myth the Fed can't and don't money print - Deflation ahead, not inflation 

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2 hours ago, Kman said:

Interesting to see this thread pop up

I recently lent money to a friend, she has been quite ill and is self-employed so has struggled to do her normal work and make ends meet 

When I say I lent the money, I honestly don't expect to get it back, I told her you can give it back to me when you can or not at all, I don't mind either way and we never have to talk about it again

I'm in a fortunate position I could help her out and I wont miss the money 

I don't think you should ever lend money to friends or family expecting it back, if you expect it back don't give it

You also should never lend money you need yourself. 

 

Great post Kman and very true!

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

The secured loan or remortgage fell through then another round of promises etc .. etc.

Therefore I am still waiting and the loan is now well over a year overdue.
I got to the eleventh hour issuing a court claim but backed off.
My friend is supposed to be moving house in April and as the current rent is about £3000 per month hopefully downsizing will ease cash flow !.
Big house for a couple with 3 cats !
Can only be patient but I will definitely take it to court when necessary.

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  • 4 months later...

How time passes !

Loan still not repaid after 18 months so took a firm decision and issued a County Court Claim.
This cost me £185 ( on-line application which was very straightforward ) but the fee is added to the claim and the court permits 8% p.a. interest to be added on a daily basis.
Have to wait now for the next phase.

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Obviously hope you get the money back.

 

Personally I have both lent and borrowed money from friends and family over the years. When someone owes me money we set a specific time for payback (like you had 2 weeks), I would then call and get the cash, if they couldn't I would try to get a portion, then I would keep the pressure very high until the job was done.

I had one bad experience when I lent a friend £800, same thing he missed the payment said work didnt pay him properly blah blah. I called him every few days asking for money even when he said please don't call I will get it I still kept calling and texting, got £400 back from him after about 1 month, around a month after that I went round his house and demanded the rest, he said he didnt have it so I took his xbox and games etc. Sold it for £250 I think, got stung to about £150 in the end and obviously one less friend. But an unreliable friend is pretty much pointless, an accessory at best.

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8 minutes ago, richo said:

My grandma and grandad used to have this saying 'a lender nor a borrower be'. I think in terms of lending to friends it rings very true.  Perhaps even with family. 

 

Its Shakespeare, from Hamlet I think. "Neither a lender nor a borrower be".

 

 

 

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On 2 August 2016 at 20:08, Kman said:

Has the amount owed been worth the stress of all this time of worrying about getting it back?

You bet - we are talking about 17 gold full sovereigns equivalent value here !!

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4 minutes ago, Pete said:

You bet - we are talking about 17 gold full sovereigns equivalent value here !!

Fair chunk of change to lend, were they suppose to give you extra back? or did they just have a good sob story 

Help thread for members new to silver/gold stacking/collecting

The Money Printing Myth the Fed can't and don't money print - Deflation ahead, not inflation 

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I've written off the odd hundred or two here and there and the occasional larger sum but I would stop associating with someone who could at least attempt to pay me something back and hadn't.  I've never even considered taking anyone to court but have resorted to violence in my younger days as I was brought up in an environment where letting people take advantage of you was seen as weakness.  Now I couldn't care less and believe life is too short.

 

Do you think they could have even attempted repayment?  Have you said to them that you would accept any amount?  No matter how small as it at least shows you they are willing to try?  Could it be they think offering you small repayments just now would be taken as an insult?

 

 

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2 hours ago, Murph said:

Do you think they could have even attempted repayment?  Have you said to them that you would accept any amount?  No matter how small as it at least shows you they are willing to try?  Could it be they think offering you small repayments just now would be taken as an insult?

 

 

If you go to court then you don't want them to have any evidence that you've offered to take small payments or a lesser amount in full.  That would be a new agreement voiding the original arrangement.

 

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  • 6 months later...

It is now over 2 years since my "friend" promised to repay a short term emergency loan.
I have a county court hearing next week and I wonder if my "friend" will have conjured up a health problem so as to not attend at the very last minute.

Costs are now over £500 and rising but even if they double I am taking this to the end.
I am reassured after watching TV programmes showing High Court Enforcement Agents recovering debts.
My plan B is to apply for a charge on property if I can claim interest on the debt at a decent rate ( 8% or more ) - a potential good investment in the long run ?

:ph34r:

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  • 1 year later...
6 hours ago, JCRJM said:

Just reading some old threads there.

how did it ever end up going @Pete?

Went to court and when judge said I could force the sale of my friend’s house a payment plan was made and I got my money back over the next 4 months.

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